Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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