Do you still have your period?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
