I must be too annoying 4 u.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
