let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I would ride that face into the sunset
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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