Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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