I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I love having hate sex.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
