awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
