threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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