There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
