It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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