I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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