look no pants
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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