I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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