I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
