1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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