i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
