Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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