When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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