so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
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