where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Randomize
