butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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