Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
