just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
