Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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