Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Houston, we have a squirter
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
