I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
When are your genitals available?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
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