Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
