So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize
