hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
