if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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