Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
