and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
