he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
