no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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