I just saw a hot homeless man
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
