Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
