Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
