using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize