I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
