bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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