? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I can't trust your balls anymore.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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