look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
