Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
