Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
