i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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