mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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