Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
