my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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