At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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