I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
