Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Let's get the cat blown out
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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